Saying no often feels unkind. But an honest no is kinder than a yes you regret later, or one you can't keep.

First, nothing at all

You don't have to answer straight away. A pause gives you time to feel what you actually want.

• "Let me check my diary and get back to you tomorrow."
• "Good question. Let me think about it."

Sentences that help

• "I can't this week. Next week I can."
• "I'd like to help, but not with everything. I can do this part."
• "No, thank you. Kind of you to think of me."

You don't need to explain your no at length. Short and kind is enough.

Tips

• Practise with something small. Saying no to a leaflet at the door is practice too.
• Listen to your body. A tight stomach or tense shoulders often say no before your head does.
• Write down how it went. The other person's reaction is often milder than you feared.